he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My breasts were aching with rage.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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