a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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