I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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