Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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