Apparently you make a good broom.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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