The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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