i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
