he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
