you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i would punch a child for taco bell
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
