you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
