Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
