You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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