I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
