we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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