Plan B is the new Plan A
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
