Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You are the jesus of drinking
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
