dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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