I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
