dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just high enough for therapy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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