Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
