She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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