He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
