I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
