I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
