i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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