And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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