My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
