If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
