I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
