we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
