stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i believe in u and ur pee
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
