Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
