you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
