so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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