i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
