I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
