Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
