i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
