shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
