This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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