Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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