this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
