Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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