You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
