he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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