I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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