mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
