what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
