So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
