you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
