Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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