My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
